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| INTRODUCTION |
Updated: 01/2012 |
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No time for shenanigans? Here's the quick version: Each team chips in twenty dollars and picks twenty celebrities they believe will die in the upcoming year. Each celebrity is assigned a point value based solely on how many teams picked that specific person. For instance, everyone seems to feel that The Pope's number is up, so his point value is very low. People die, points are accumulated, and the lucky schmo with the most points at the end of the year wins the jackpot. |
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| TEAMS | |
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One person playing alone or fifty people playing a single roster together--either way, you're a team. For everyone's safety and comfort, no specific player names are ever posted on the site or shared with any third party; we'll always refer to players by either their team name (which you choose) or team number (which we choose). Team names are often morbid in nature, but that isn't a requirement. |
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A team can play more than one roster of celebrities, but points from the varying rosters will not be combined into one grand total. Each roster is a separate entry. |
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| CELEBRITIES |
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Points are only awarded to bona fide celebrities. For the sake of this game, celebrity status is determined by North American, non-categorically-specific media source. The Associated Press, for instance, runs a national obituary page every day. USA Today, New York Times, CNN, etc. The death must be specifically mentioned in a news article or obituary; paid obituaries are ineligible. |
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We emphasize that it must be a general news source; if your celebrity's death appears in Field & Stream but nowhere else, he or she is not a celebrity. A niche audience doesn't make you a celebrity. If that were the case, my death would be worth points. Similarly, the news source must be on a NATIONAL scale--if I can't buy the newspaper at my local bookstore, then it's localized and invalid.
When submitting a team roster, please include a very brief description of any not-so-famous entries. Even if it's just an occupation, it will help tremendously in researching (especially in the case of generic names).
Celebrities must be specifically named. No "that old guy from that one show" entries, please.
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Should a dispute arise, the Final Word rests with the Cash4Cadavers staff. We also reserve the right to let the players vote on disputes.
There are a few exceptions and clarifications: |
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BART THE BEAR CLAWS: (Claws? Clause? Har har.) Animals can be played
on Cash4Cadavers assuming that they meet the criteria for "celebrity." Specific, named animals (like Morris the Cat or Bart the Bear) only; none of that "world's oldest tortoise" crap. If you want to play the world's oldest tortoise you'll tell us its name, Poindexter. |
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THE McVEIGH EXCLUSION: Scheduled executions do not count. If the government kills your celebrity, your celebrity will be worth zero points.
However, you can play death row celebrities, perhaps in the hopes that they'll
commit suicide or killed by a fellow inmate; upon their scheduled termination, however, you'll get a nice warm cup of jack squat.
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THE SIAM CAVEAT: Conjoined (a.k.a. Siamese) twins will only count as
one roster entry. You can play conjoined twins but, as their deaths are so often near-simultaneous, you'll only get credit for a single death. |
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POL POT PREDICAMENT: Celebrities classified as MIA (Osama bin Laden) can be played, but receiving points is tricky: If their bodies are found and positively identified, the official-yet-approximate time of death must safely and unquestionably fall within the current year's game. If Jimmy Hoffa's corpse surfaces, his time of death would have to be this year to be worth anything. |
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THE SHUMAKER DEFENSE: When a roster is submitted, the Cash4Cadavers staff attempts to verify all celebrities as being alive. However, players will not get to replace any
dead celebrities they submit on their rosters; if you include someone that's deceased, you simply won't get points as they won't die this year. Use the Tools page and look your people up! |
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SPIKE'S RULE: Similar to The Shumaker Defense, except it prevents retroactive points: If someone on your roster in the 2008 game dies but nobody finds out until 2009, you get nothing.
The Cash4Cadavers staff tries to read every daily obituary and will double-check at the end of the year, but ultimately it's the player's responsibility to notify us when someone dies. |
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| POINTS | |
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As of the 2008 game, celebrity point values will be determined by the following breakdown:
- 1 team playing the dead celebrity = 10,000 points
- 2 teams playing the dead celebrity = 6,500 points
- 3 teams playing the dead celebrity = 5,000 points
- 4 teams playing the dead celebrity = 3,500 points
- 5 or more teams playing the dead celebrity = 2,000 points
BONUS: There's a 25% point bonus if your celebrity is either a murder or suicide victim. Like the Pol Pot Predicament, this will have to be clear and unquestionable; Kennedy was murdered, but Chris Farley didn't commit suicide. |
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| WINNING |
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The team with the most points on January 10th wins the pot; specifically, 12:00:01 AM central time is when the old game ends and the new game begins. There are no second or third place prizes.
In the unlikely event of a tie, the winner will be the team that had the most actual deaths; if that ties as well, the team with the first death (earliest chronologically) will win. The winning team will receive their funds through PayPal or check.
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| PLAYING |
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Anyone wishing to play must submit their team roster(s) by 11:59 PM CST on January 9th. Note that our game beings and ends on January 10th, not 1st; as such, we no longer accept late rosters. Don't procrastinate!
From December through January 10th of every year, the "Play" section of the site will feature an online form to accept rosters. Team antes can be submitted either via PayPal or snail mail.
Further questions or comments can be directed to
STAFF@CASH4CADAVERS.COM
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